Alots of things are running in my mind today. And I find it so ridiculous... All are questions in my head. Why did I come into this world? What am I supposed to do? What's the point of me living in this world? What I should do? What I must do? What I want to do? All these questions just appeared in my mind in split seconds. I have none of the answer to these silly questions. And I have no idea why these will happened in my thought.. Not that I want to think but it just appeared. I also want a simple and happy life, don't need for me to think so much. But sometimes thoughts can just run wild. To be honest, I am in emo state today. I don't want to but I don't know how to avoid, prevent. Of course I want myself to be happy but I don't know how. And in fact I am unhappy with work, studies, health... Just everything in my life, nothing for me to be happy for... Ask me why? I don't know. I can't even understand myself... Who can really understand? Actually the state/mood I am in now is it due to what she said on sunday, I don't know. But I believe I am not so weak. Suddenly thought of what we (army friends) were chatting today- they find it unbelievable for me not been into any relationship for the past 27years.(Almost 27 years old liao) But I find it no big deal. Though I admit sometimes I would really like to find someone for accompany. But I have not met the special one. Not that I don't want to find but.... I also have no answer to this big question.... What they said also make sense that have to go into a relationship for several years before deciding on marriage and somemore applying for flat need another 3-4 years time...

Make it simple, I am not happy with my current life as a whole. I don't know how to improve it. I have no goal, nothing I really want to do... Simply like lost interest in whatever I do.. No interest to login facebook to play all those application too... And please not to ask me not to think so much. As I also don't know why such thought will come to my mind... I am already trying very hard to control, but no use.

And if XF you are reading it, I know you said I emo too frequent, please I also don't want it. And you told me emo too frequent, chance/ percentage of getting cancer will be higher. I don't give a damn to it... What for to live so long if I always can't get myself to be happy..... Writing till now, I also don't know why suddenly tears are rolling down my cheek. I know something is wrong with me, but I what exactly is it.. How ridiculous! Perhaps I need a psychiatry....

Why am I landed in such a state? Another unknown.. Hahaha...